Uncertainty Throughout the Pandemic

A blog post written by Kong Xiong, a 2020-2022 Fellow

Amid a global pandemic, the fellowship has provided me with more than just a “job.” Before I accepted my role as a fellow, I was a 2nd-year graduate student in Milwaukee, WI with one semester left before graduation. I worked part-time but knew I would need a full-time position after graduating. Before I could even begin the job searching process, I still needed to graduate first. Completing a capstone was already time-consuming and stressful by itself. The eventual pandemic snowballed the stress of my capstone. Through it all, I managed to emerge on top and found myself at the Wisconsin Department of Health Services in their Maternal & Child Health (MCH) Unit.

Impostor syndrome has always caused me to doubt my abilities and knowledge and it was no different entering the fellowship orientation.

“Did I earn my spot as a fellow?”

“Am I capable of working here?”

“Can I match the intelligence of my peers?”

Anxiety settled in during the fellowship orientation. I was never one for big groups and small talk. As the fellowship orientation progressed, I began to settle in. The conversations were enlightening and the activities with the second-year fellows & faculty eased my nervousness.

I was uncertain on how to handle a “grown-up job” amid a pandemic, where in-person interaction is limited. Virtual on-boarding, remembering acronyms, and putting a name on faces was a challenge. I was reminded of uncertainty every day. Days soon turned into weeks and the uncertainty of navigating a virtual on-boarding was revealed to be simpler than I imagined. There many factors that eased my transition into the virtual workspace. The unit staff all met with me one-on-one to create some familiarity, while also allowing for introductory small talk. The kind of stuff that you usually would get during a small water break at an in-person setting at the office. During zoom meetings, my preceptor would regularly check in to see if I was aware of the acronyms that were used. Jumping into these meetings with little context created confusion early on but the MCH unit staff made sure that I would be up to speed with the current scope of work to the best of their ability.

During our orientation, we were tasked with signing up to plan monthly fellowship learning communities. I opted to sign up for the first month available and was joined by a second-year fellow and a preventive medicine resident. When it came time to facilitate our learning community, it was a joy to see (via Zoom) the high level of engagement during panel discussions and Q & A’s. As a fellow, we’re tasks with working with our state agencies to complete our work, along with balancing the responsibilities of being a fellow. As a first-year fellow, having a second-year fellow to help lead made the learning community planning enjoyable and less stressful.

After almost a year in the fellowship, my biggest takeaway from the learning communities, preceptor meetings, progress review, and coaching sessions is that all aspects of the fellowship amount to bringing the best out of fellows. The fellowship community not only provided me with a way to find my confidence but also reinforce my communication skills and public health knowledge within a short period. The fellowship has more than what I could have asked for and I look forward to seeing what the final year hold for me.

7T5A0749.jpg