A blog post written by Emily Dejka, a 2020-2022 Fellow
“Do you know what “Eau Claire” means in French?” Of course, I didn’t. “It translates to ‘clear water’.”
This was the first question my grandpa asked when I told him of my fellowship placement offer. While I was appreciative of that Snapple cap fact, it didn’t answer any of the questions that I had about this opportunity. Mine were along these lines:
1. How hard would it be to find an apartment?
2. What would it be like to be queer in Eau Claire?
3. Would my partner be able to find a job?
4. Would I get along with my mentor?
5. How quickly would I make friends?
6. Is this the right job for me?
Did you notice that the pandemic wasn’t mentioned at all? I double checked my email to be sure, but I was offered the position on February 21, 2020. One week later, on February 28, 2020, I sent a scheduled email promptly at 8:00 AM accepting the offer. Two weeks later, my MPH program switched to virtual learning. Two weeks after that, I sent a moderately panicked email to the program asking if I should be looking for a new job.
Like so many others, my world had completely changed in what seemed like the blink of an eye. For the next six weeks, I would spend nearly 20 hours a day in my room, only leaving to make meals or get outside. Though this period was extremely challenging for me, especially mentally, I feel as though it would be irresponsible for me to not acknowledge the sheer amount of privilege I had during this time. For one, I was safe in my home. I only had one roommate, and while we weren’t terribly close, I trusted her, and we had the same mentality when it came to sharing resources (i.e., toilet paper). I was also able to continue working my two part-time jobs and pay my rent each month.
From mid-March until the end of June, my life took on some semblance of routine. I worked, went to class, and took walks. On an unremarkable Thursday, I graduated and was able to add those three letters after my name: MPH. I also finished all eight seasons of The Vampire Diaries and the first three seasons of its spin-off, The Originals. Before I knew it, the time came to make the next step and it was the busiest week I’d had in months. Between a Sunday and Friday, I moved out of my Michigan apartment, bought a new car, and moved into my new home in Eau Claire. It was the eighth time my parents had moved me into a new place in nine years.
Photo from the virtual 2021 Fellowship Orientation.
The following week, I attended the fellowship orientation. Trying to make a good impression, I angled my camera so people couldn’t see that the only furniture in my living room was a lawn chair and 6-foot folding table. I think the echo when I spoke gave me away though. Orientation was a happy blur of meeting people and learning more about the program. However, it also hit me how far I was from the rest of the community, which I hadn’t thought about previously. There wasn’t a second-year fellow in Eau Claire I could reach out to, and a couple of months in, the other rurally placed fellow accepted a new position. In a non-pandemic year, this wouldn’t be a problem since I would be travelling to Learning Community Meetings each month. Thankfully, I had a dear friend who was also starting her fellowship journey in Milwaukee.
For my first day at the Eau Claire City-County Health Department, I was nervous. Of course, that is natural when starting a new position, but I felt an added social pressure to make sure that in every interaction I came off as funny, charming, easy-going, dedicated, hard-working, intelligent, competent, interesting, and an active listener. While I’ve never been of the mindset that you need to form everlasting friendships with each one of your co-workers, I was so deeply aware that this place is where most of my in-person social interactions would occur, something that I had missed terribly in those months in my Michigan apartment. So, in that first week when I extended my hand to someone on first meeting her or forgot another person’s name and was introduced to them twice, I felt those as dings against me.
Does this come off as a touch melodramatic? Perhaps.
Writing this now, it’s been about seven months since that first day. I’d like to say all that social anxiety is gone, but that is not the case. There is much to celebrate though. The Eau Claire Health Department has an incredible team, who have been beyond supportive in the work I’m doing. My partner moved in a couple of months after I did, and the difference of having her there has been remarkable. I’ve also began cultivating a small list of people who will stop by my cubicle for a chat when they walk by. Everything is just taking more time. It’s hard to form relationships when most interactions are through a computer or in brief, physically distanced, masked conversations. From my graduate school experience, I know how quickly two years can go, and I want to be able to make the most of the opportunity I’ve been given.
I have been able to answer those questions from before, and for me, that’s a wonderful beginning.
1. Hard, but you’ll eventually find a beautiful, albeit drafty, home that allows you to adopt a cat named Frida.
2. Easier and harder than you thought.
3. Yes! She’s had one happily since October.
4. Another big yes!
5. Faster than you thought.
6. Absolutely.